dont know what to call this

you just know its not your luck when things go as badly as they did for me over the last 48 hours. i can't take it that everyone is upset with me. wished each of them understood. it hurts having everyone against you, even your other half. a little support for a change, instead of the usual blame-hate game would be nice. but no, it ended up being the we don't talk till i get over it thing. i don't know how to react. i admitted that i was upset over everything and i'm sincerely sorry. and i ended up taking most of the hits and blame myself. i couldn't help but bite my pillow and let my eyes wet themselves. never felt so low and shallow for myself. I was there when you were down. when you were upset. or afraid. or when you needed to talk about anything. I came running when you called, i always came every time you needed me. I supported your every call, your every decision. Even the ones that had hurt me, but i kept quiet, i understood, and here we are. And till forever, i would still continue to be there, and do everything for you. You should know, i have done, and would do Everything for you. I stayed calm when I needed to be just for you. it's always me and my bloody mistakes that makes the headlines always isn't it.

and now just when i need you the most. what do i get?

i just want to dissapear.